Shoplifting Off The Radio

Great Day to You, Friday Fun Facters!


Special Announcements:

RIP: “Macho Man” Randy Savage. May you be having fun in the big wrestling ring in the sky…

Thank You: To everyone who sent me birthday wishes, or participated in my surprise birthday party. I’m blessed to know you all…

Thank You: To the men & women, past & present, and those who made the ultimate sacrifice. We salute & honor you all this Memorial Day weekend…


So, what would it take for you to do some shoplifting? A new cd? A dress? A ring? A book? Would you EVER consider it? Would you consider it an act of desperation or a just a challenge to see if you could get away with it?

Special Note I: Of course, The Committee does not condone the act of shoplifting, unless you’re absolutely sure you can get away with it!

Here’s the problem: the alleged shoplifter didn’t apply success principles to her plan. She didn’t dream big. If you’re going to dream that you got away with stealing that can of Red Bull, magazines, and pregnancy test, you should dream bigger – a case of Red Bull, a pile of magazines, and a pallet of pregnancy tests for you and all your friends!

So, instead of dwelling unnecessarily on the perpetrator’s mistakes, Friday Fun Fact thought it best to go over success-based strategy tips for the shoplifter:

  • DREAM BIG. If you’re going to risk shoplifting with today’s technology, you have to understand the risks. If you’re going to risk jail time, then make the crime worth the risk. Instead of an energy drink & a pregnancy test, do you have access to a large money account? Why be a small time hood when you can be a big time crook?!
  • PLAN THE HEIST ACCORDINGLY. What is your goal? Is it a temporary fix, or a long term destination?
  • PLAN YOUR ESCAPE. How are you going to exit the store/building? Where are the cameras? Did you hide how you accessed the account by computer?
  • EXECUTE YOUR PLAN. Don’t vary from your plan & don’t get greedy. This is one of the big downfalls of the amateur criminal. Remember what happened in Point Break?! I suspect the alleged shoplifter got greedy. Maybe she stole the pregnancy test just in case she needed it in the future. Maybe it seemed like a good idea at the time.
  • HAVE A CONTINGENCY PLAN. Even the best-laid plans can hit a snag. ”Officer! Officer! My friend was falling asleep in the passenger side of the vehicle. I want to pay for the Red Bull & magazine, but it was necessary to get them to my friend immediately to keep her awake.”
  • MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A VALID PASSPORT. Part of your escape plan should be to travel a destination where it’s hard to be extradited to the United States – like California or New Jersey.
  • DON’T TELL ANYONE WHAT YOU’RE PLANNING, OR WHERE YOU’RE GOING. This strategy is another oversight by the amateur criminal ultimately leading to their downfall.

Special Disclaimer: Really?! Do we have to include this?! Since we are now part of a public forum, please remember Friday Fun Fact’s weekly (or almost weekly!) episodes are here to find humor in life, not to condone illegal behavior. We aren’t the cast of characters from Ocean’s 11… yet.

Special Disclaimer, Also: We’ve left some important pieces to the puzzle out of our steps to shoplifting success. After all, we can’t give away all our secrets!


Tunes of the Week:

Been Caught Stealing – Jane’s Addiction

Steal Away – Ozzy Osbourne

Stealing Cinderella – Chuck Wicks

Disappear – Metallica

Drive South – Suzy Boggus (Original by John Hiatt)

Living On The Edge – White Lion

Escape – Journey


Raise A Memorial Glass!

MayYour Friday Be Followed By A Criminal Saturday!


RealizarSus Ambiciones


Published in: on 13Maypm1111 at 1:30 pm  Leave a Comment  

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