I’ll Be Here, Unless I Win The Lottery…

Great Day to You, Friday Fun Facters!


Special Announcements:

Welcome Back: Autum. Today is the first day of the fall season. Soon, besides the fit hitting the shan, guess what else will be flying…

Silver Lining: Oktoberfest is in full swing!

A Tearful Goodbye: Summer. We all wish very much that you could stay longer than the two or three weeks you hang around Northeast Ohio. For our readers in the southern United States, we know you’ll be enjoying Summer until a little after Thanksgiving. Keep her healthy!

Fare-Thee-Well!: To the Indians hopes for the post season. Yet another year impersonating the Chicago Cubs. Well, there’s always next year.


Earlier this week, I hit the local grocery store in an entirely futile attempt to pick up some items advertised in the weekly circular. Since it was the last day of the ad, naturally, the store was out of everything. As I was standing on the proverbial deck of the Titanic for what seemed like the second or third time already in the week, I miraculously came up with a Plan B. (Special Note I: I say “miraculously,” as any plan that may actually work when enticing the euphemistic Titanic analogy can only be considered a miracle, correct?!). I decided to check with the customer service desk to see if I could obtain rain checks for the sail items that were out of stock.

So, I followed the easy-to-read signs at the customer service desk that instructed me to “Enter Here,” and “Please Wait Here For The Next Attendant.” Seemingly easy enough. I positioned myself between the nylon side ropes that kept us all in a nifty single file line and waited for those in front of me to progress towards the desk.

And waited…

And waited…

AND waited.

It finally dawned on me that there must be something pretty darn interesting, lengthy, or detailed going on with one of the customers at the desk.

So very interesting, indeed.

The customer was purchasing lottery tickets.

All sorts of lottery tickets…

I must say a complete menagerie of lottery tickets.

As I’m standing there watching the transaction, I start running the numbers on what are the possible & potential reasons for buying so many lottery tickets, as well as the odds of winning back what you’ve spent, let alone winning anything to show a financial gain.

Although winning the lottery varies based on lottery design, the he odds of winning a Mega Millions multi-state lottery here in the U.S. is 1 in 175, 711, 536.


The best information the Friday Fun Fact Research Department could find on lottery scratchcards is 1 in 7. Of course, the scratchcard “jackpots” are considerably smaller than the Mega Millions lottery.


My father, in fantastic quips of wisdom, tells me during random conversations that it’s easier to get struck by lightning than it is to win the lottery. Odds of getting struck by lightning:

1: 280,000 (Person)

1: 200 (Homes)


Here are some other odds, or oddities of life:

1: 4 – Pregnancy for a Healthy Couple

1: 5,000 – Getting A Hole In One

1: 13,200,000 – Becoming An Astronaut

.0000565/1 – Chance of Becoming a Professional Athlete

1: 88,000 – Odds of Dating a Supermodel


Translation: You have much better odds of becoming an astronaut than winning the lottery.

Philosophical Debate: Most people already live in “space.”

Translation: You have better odds of getting pregnant than winning at lottery scratchcards.

Philosophical Debate: I’m not touching this one w/a 10-foot…nevermind

So, what is the fascination?

Is it entertainment value?

OK, look, if your life hinges upon watching numbered balls get pushed through an air-compressed trap for excitement, we might be in trouble.

Better yet, if your entertainment consists of scratching acrylic silver paint off of a card to see if you won a fraction of the money you’ve put into the cards, we might need to find you a hobby.

Or, is it something deeper?

Is it a marketing demographics opportunity? For example, does it fall into the same category as tobacco sales – the target market is predominantly lower financial class with an assumption of less education?

There’s always some wishful thinking going on in the workplace:

  • “See you next week.” “Not if I win the lottery.”
  • “Well, I haven’t won the lottery yet, so I guess I’ll be here.”
  • “What would you do if you won the lottery?”

And then there are those who thought they had won the lottery?!


$4.3 Million.


$54 Million.

How would you feel if you found out the numbers printed were a mistake?!

Personally speaking, living on the corner of Hard Luck & Murphy’s Law, I would expect the numbers printed to be wrong. This falls somewhere between positive thought processes & self-fulfilling prophecies, I believe…

I’ve had a few lottery scratch cards given to me along the way at one event or another. As a form of entertainment, I find sleeping to be a much better choice. I have also, on occasion, thrown in a couple bucks with everyone on larger Mega Millions jackpots just to say if you don’t take the risk, you don’t realize the gain.

We here the Friday Fun Fact Command Center have a better idea: donate the money you would invest in lottery tickets to Friday Fun Fact. I’m sure we’ll figure out a way to keep you entertained, as well as reduce our overhead costs! And, of course, buy some BEER to keep morale up during tight deadlines!


Tunes of the Week:

I Feel Lucky – Mary Chapin Carpenter

Lightning Strikes Again – Dokken

Lighting Strikes (Not Once But Twice) – The Clash

Lightning Frightening – David Bowie

Lightning In The Sky – Santana

Lightning Strikes The Postman – The Flaming Lips

Greased Lightning – John Travolta

Smokestack Lightning – Howlin’ Wolf

White Lightning – George Jones

Ride The Lightning – Metallica


Raise A Lucky Glass!

May Your Friday Be Followed By A Winning Saturday!


Realizar Sus Ambiciones


Published in: on 13Seppm1111 at 9:38 pm  Leave a Comment  

Rise Again, Little Fighter!

Great Day to You, Friday Fun Facters!


Special Announcements:

RIP: To those who died on the ill-fated Russian airplane earlier this week. Godspeed to the grief of all those affected.


RIP II: Lee Roy Selmon. The first-ever player drafted by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.



Ten Years Ago Sunday.

Where Were You When The World Stopped Turning?

I am sure every one of us can identify the exact moment we first heard or saw the news.

Have You Forgotten?

No, I have not. I haven’t forgotten the World Trade Center, The Pentagon, or that Pennsylvania field. I think about it every day & pray for the safe return of our troops, & send a blessing to their families & friends for their sacrifices made so we can sleep at night. Last week, sitting in a restaurant, I saw the first graphic pictures on television I’ve seen broadcasted in YEARS. Thank you to the news station that did the piece justice by not censoring the images of that fateful day.

The memorials honoring the victims & fallen service personnel – those people who found it their DUTY to walk into burning buildings to rescue the lives of others, or bring a plane down knowing they would go with it – have already started, and will be performed all weekend.


But they wouldn’t want it that way.

In true honor of all those that were lost, Friday Fun Fact has chosen to memorialize their lives by celebrating life. We believe that’s what they would have wanted. On the Friday Fun Fact journey in pursuit of existential happiness (Special Note I: That’s “existential happiness,” RobC!). We need to not only honor the lives of those lost, but celebrate those that are still here. Those that fought and survived; those that had to experience excruciating pain for their physical injuries; and those that had, or still need, to get through the mental anguish of being there, or losing someone. Those people that fought for their lives.

That’s the American Way.

Follow the dream, regardless of the adversity.

Follow the tragedy with all you have in you to overcome it.

Both are much easier said than done

For every person lost, there is a story. For every person that survived, there is a story, and their seemingly insurmountable recovery. Every one of them is a hero. I’m lucky – I know no one who was directly injured or worse. I know of a few near-misses. I am thankful for those near-misses every day. And every time I see a clock that reads 9:11, I remember and am thankful for all of my blessings. What I am also reminded of is life was born on that day as well. This weekend, my friends & I will be attending a birthday party for one of our friends’ kids born on that day. It is THE reminder of HOPE.

Here are some stories of survival:







Tragedy can be overcome, with new life comes new hope.

The truth of the American Spirit is this: it rises like a phoenix from the ashes. Always. When painted into a corner, the American Spirit grabs the baseball bat with both hands and says, “To heck with you, Jobu! If you won’t help me hit the curveball, I’ll do it myself!”

(Special Note II: Before the corrective texts, emails, and phone calls flood the Friday Fun Fact Customer Service Department, yes, we realize that last quote was paraphrased.)

We, as a group of readers, and as a community, have had some interesting & unfortunate experiences befallen us lately, as noted in a previous episode. But we are still here. We are still here taking that roller coaster ride of life. I often tell people that I live at the corner of Hard Luck & Murphy’s Law. It ain’t always easy to get hit in the face by the Louisville Slugger of life while living at that address, but it’s better than the alternative! Live it, love it, breathe it for all you can, and for those that can’t because of Ten Years Ago Sunday. Rise Again, Little Fighter, when you get kicked in the teeth (and visit the dentist!). Take the roller coaster ride every time. Be Undivided in your pursuits to share your love, life, & experiences with those around you – as well as your goodwill with strangers. Honor the fallen, and celebrate the living…

Yeah, we’ll put a boot in you’re a- -, it’s the American Way.

Let’s Roll…

The war on terror is still being fought. And now, it always will be. Support those troops past & present, sacrificing themselves in the war on terror, as well as those stationed in other places to defend the rights of those who cannot defend themselves. Thank you for having our backs. When you come home, we will have yours…


Tunes of the Week:

                If you read carefully, you already know them…


Raise A Memorial & Celebratory Glass!

May Your Friday Be Followed By A Saturday, AND An Incredible Day Of Respectful Remembrance & Celebration Of Life!


Realizar Sus Ambiciones

Published in: on 13Seppm1111 at 9:38 pm  Leave a Comment  

Welcome Back… To School!

Great Day to You, Friday Fun Facters!


Special Announcements:

RIP & Recovery: Although Hurricane Irene did not provide the devastation originally expected, we thank the media for providing appropriate warnings, wish Godspeed to those families grieving, & hope a speedy recovery to all areas affected.

Celebrate!: If you haven’t looked at a calendar, Labor Day Weekend is here. Enjoy it!


Although summer is not officially, nor technically, over just yet, the hints & allegations that it will be gone shortly are evident. The leaves are changing colors in the Midwest; the high school bands are waking up the morning as they practice for their Friday night performances; high school football teams kicked off a week ago; college football started last night (Special Note I: AmyF – Really?! Your beloved Wildcats could only beat Western Kentucky by 11?! Oh yeah, HUGE expectations for UK football this year after that “beat down!”); and school is back in session.

By the way, ya gotta love the first three weeks of traffic after school begins. How do people forget how to drive in such a short amount of time! I digress. Where was I?

Oh, yes – school is back in session. And with school comes a whole new load, or should I say breed of classes. The crack Friday Fun Fact research team recently uncovered a list of, let’s just say, creative classes – both in topic & spirit.


The list includes such fine new classics as:

  • Sociology of Fame and Lady Gaga
  • Wordplay: A Wry Plod from Babel to Scrabble
  • Fly Fishing (This must be that competitive fishing course for college “athletes”)
  • Theory and the History of Video Games
  • Physics for Future Presidents
  • Popular Flops: Bad Movies
  • Tightwaddery, or the Good Life on a Dollar a Day; and
  • Joy of Garbage
  • The Textual Appeal of Tupac Shakur

Two Friday Fun Fact Committee favorites include:

  • “Oh, Look, a Chicken!” Embracing Distraction as a Way of Knowing; and
  • Things That Go Bump In The Night

Look, I realize that today’s generation needs additional “incentive” beyond the normal motivators – career ambitions, making a living, having a roof over your head, and being able to afford food – to crawl out of bed at the crack of noon to attend class. But for the second week in a row, does the Duran Duran quote “You’ve gone too far this time” apply? (Special Note II: The Friday Fun Fact archivist is reviewing past episodes, but we believe this is the first back-to-back episode reference of the same quote. How the h-e-double-hockey-stick did Duran Duran beat out Bon Jovi?!). These classes sound like they are right off the whiteboard in the movie “Accepted.”

What ever happen to time-tested and student-feared classics as Biology, Chemistry, Calculus, and Statistics?!

Next thing you know, we’ll be electing actors to the White House!

Indelibly, the Friday Fun Fact Creative Innovations team (yes, yet another new department to our organization!), has diligently researched new class offerings and estimated that some vital courses selections have been missed. Here are some highlights of those classes:

  • Surprise! You’re Going On Vacation!
    Griswold Series, Part I)

    How to surprise your friends with a vacation adventure. This course discusses how to surprise your friends with a vacation when they least expect it; choosing the right destination for your group to optimize fun for all parties; recognizing regional differentiation in order to identify where you might be in case of emergency amnesia caused by sleep deprivation or diet intake; overcoming financial challenges when the windshield hits a bug out on the open road, or if you overpay for “four bald tires and a tow;” and troubleshooting your GPS technical issues.
  • How To Survive A Griswold Christmas
    (Griswold Series, Part II)

    Do you have one of “those” families?! Here’s how to make it through the challenges of the rising economic & environmental costs of burning through a gross of outdoor Christmas lights in one season (hint: tap into your neighbor’s power supply); appropriate food & liquid consumption pacing in the face of family gatherings w/Cousin Eddie types & others; how to not overcook the main course; what is the proper amount to spend on a gift for Aunt Freida, who you haven’t seen more than a decade; and, how to say “I’m on a diet” in twelve languages.
  • People Watching For Beginners
    Have you ever not noticed people around you? This class will teach you all of the basics of observation to help you survive in new & potentially hostile environments such as the work place, vacation spots, and mud wrestling tournaments. This course serves as a prerequisite for the intermediate & advanced courses which focus on cracking impromptu jokes, taking quick action to avoid solicitors, &
    judging for the shortest line for the quickest service in supermarket situations.
  • Underwater BasketWeaving

    Welcome to the class that is everyone’s oldest joke! Heck, if they say you’re taking it, you might as well enroll anyways! This class will teach you manual dexterity under challenging circumstances; how to focus your mind on a single task – gradually improving to multi-tasking as the class progresses. The final exam is done blindfolded.
  • How To Build A Better Beer

    This course is not for the lighthearted. The course curriculum focuses on engineering concepts to construct the best & most efficient home
    brewing system; chemistry concepts to create optimum beer recipes from both premium and cost-efficient ingredients; and how to identify & enjoy the proper aesthetics of a quality beer in a variety of environments.

Here’s to heading “Back to School!” “Rage, rage, against the dying of the light”…

I gotta go. It’s time to go heckle a diver…


Tunes of the Week:

Another Brick In The Wall (Part II) – Pink Floyd

Smokin’ In The Boys Room – Motley Crue / Brownsville Station

Pizza Day – The Aquabats

Be Chrool To Your Scuel – Twisted Sister

Back To School – Bo Diddley

Bi@#$ School – Spinal Tap

Girlschool – Britny Fox

Brain Damage – Eminem

Be True To Your School – Beach Boys

College – Pat Green

Keg In The Closet – Kenny Chesney

Future’s So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades – Timbuk3


Raise an Educated Glass!

May Your Friday Be Followed By A Scholarly Saturday!


Realizar Sus Ambiciones

Published in: on 13Seppm1111 at 4:00 pm  Leave a Comment