Great Day to You, Friday Fun Facters!
RIP & Recovery: Although Hurricane Irene did not provide the devastation originally expected, we thank the media for providing appropriate warnings, wish Godspeed to those families grieving, & hope a speedy recovery to all areas affected.
Celebrate!: If you haven’t looked at a calendar, Labor Day Weekend is here. Enjoy it!
Although summer is not officially, nor technically, over just yet, the hints & allegations that it will be gone shortly are evident. The leaves are changing colors in the Midwest; the high school bands are waking up the morning as they practice for their Friday night performances; high school football teams kicked off a week ago; college football started last night (Special Note I: AmyF – Really?! Your beloved Wildcats could only beat Western Kentucky by 11?! Oh yeah, HUGE expectations for UK football this year after that “beat down!”); and school is back in session.
By the way, ya gotta love the first three weeks of traffic after school begins. How do people forget how to drive in such a short amount of time! I digress. Where was I?
Oh, yes – school is back in session. And with school comes a whole new load, or should I say breed of classes. The crack Friday Fun Fact research team recently uncovered a list of, let’s just say, creative classes – both in topic & spirit.
The list includes such fine new classics as:
- Sociology of Fame and Lady Gaga
- Wordplay: A Wry Plod from Babel to Scrabble
- Fly Fishing (This must be that competitive fishing course for college “athletes”)
- Theory and the History of Video Games
- Physics for Future Presidents
- Popular Flops: Bad Movies
- Tightwaddery, or the Good Life on a Dollar a Day; and
- Joy of Garbage
- The Textual Appeal of Tupac Shakur
Two Friday Fun Fact Committee favorites include:
- “Oh, Look, a Chicken!” Embracing Distraction as a Way of Knowing; and
- Things That Go Bump In The Night
Look, I realize that today’s generation needs additional “incentive” beyond the normal motivators – career ambitions, making a living, having a roof over your head, and being able to afford food – to crawl out of bed at the crack of noon to attend class. But for the second week in a row, does the Duran Duran quote “You’ve gone too far this time” apply? (Special Note II: The Friday Fun Fact archivist is reviewing past episodes, but we believe this is the first back-to-back episode reference of the same quote. How the h-e-double-hockey-stick did Duran Duran beat out Bon Jovi?!). These classes sound like they are right off the whiteboard in the movie “Accepted.”
What ever happen to time-tested and student-feared classics as Biology, Chemistry, Calculus, and Statistics?!
Next thing you know, we’ll be electing actors to the White House!
Indelibly, the Friday Fun Fact Creative Innovations team (yes, yet another new department to our organization!), has diligently researched new class offerings and estimated that some vital courses selections have been missed. Here are some highlights of those classes:
- Surprise! You’re Going On Vacation!
Griswold Series, Part I)
How to surprise your friends with a vacation adventure. This course discusses how to surprise your friends with a vacation when they least expect it; choosing the right destination for your group to optimize fun for all parties; recognizing regional differentiation in order to identify where you might be in case of emergency amnesia caused by sleep deprivation or diet intake; overcoming financial challenges when the windshield hits a bug out on the open road, or if you overpay for “four bald tires and a tow;” and troubleshooting your GPS technical issues.
- How To Survive A Griswold Christmas
(Griswold Series, Part II)
Do you have one of “those” families?! Here’s how to make it through the challenges of the rising economic & environmental costs of burning through a gross of outdoor Christmas lights in one season (hint: tap into your neighbor’s power supply); appropriate food & liquid consumption pacing in the face of family gatherings w/Cousin Eddie types & others; how to not overcook the main course; what is the proper amount to spend on a gift for Aunt Freida, who you haven’t seen more than a decade; and, how to say “I’m on a diet” in twelve languages.
- People Watching For Beginners
Have you ever not noticed people around you? This class will teach you all of the basics of observation to help you survive in new & potentially hostile environments such as the work place, vacation spots, and mud wrestling tournaments. This course serves as a prerequisite for the intermediate & advanced courses which focus on cracking impromptu jokes, taking quick action to avoid solicitors, &
judging for the shortest line for the quickest service in supermarket situations.
- Underwater BasketWeaving
Welcome to the class that is everyone’s oldest joke! Heck, if they say you’re taking it, you might as well enroll anyways! This class will teach you manual dexterity under challenging circumstances; how to focus your mind on a single task – gradually improving to multi-tasking as the class progresses. The final exam is done blindfolded.
- How To Build A Better Beer
This course is not for the lighthearted. The course curriculum focuses on engineering concepts to construct the best & most efficient home
brewing system; chemistry concepts to create optimum beer recipes from both premium and cost-efficient ingredients; and how to identify & enjoy the proper aesthetics of a quality beer in a variety of environments.
Here’s to heading “Back to School!” “Rage, rage, against the dying of the light”…
I gotta go. It’s time to go heckle a diver…
Tunes of the Week:
Another Brick In The Wall (Part II) – Pink Floyd
Smokin’ In The Boys Room – Motley Crue / Brownsville Station
Pizza Day – The Aquabats
Be Chrool To Your Scuel – Twisted Sister
Back To School – Bo Diddley
Bi@#$ School – Spinal Tap
Girlschool – Britny Fox
Brain Damage – Eminem
Be True To Your School – Beach Boys
College – Pat Green
Keg In The Closet – Kenny Chesney
Future’s So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades – Timbuk3
Raise an Educated Glass!
May Your Friday Be Followed By A Scholarly Saturday!
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