Great Day to You, Friday Fun Facters!
RIP: Dan Wheldon, IndyCar Driver & two-time Indianapolis 500 Winner. Keep the hammer down & keep on driving…
Congratulations!: Casual Observer ChrisW, on his permanent full time position! Great Luck to You along the learning curve! Long, long overdue!
Ironic Sports Scores This Week:
- Baseball: St. Louis Cardinals 10,Texas Rangers 9
- Hockey: Winnipeg Jets 9,Philadelphia Flyers 8
- Football: Cleveland Browns 6,Seattle Seahawks 3
- Noted Observation: The sportscasters of the Browns/Seahawks game commented during the telecast that it was like watching a high school game. I beg to differ: watching a high school game would have been FAR more interesting.
The Monster In The Closet.
The Devil, himself.
Almost had you scared for a second, there, didn’t I?!
And then, I had to ruin it by mentioning the mummy. I know – it doesn’t exactly rattle the “scary” cage, does it?
There was a time when mummies were a little scarier. Here’s a brief snippet of mummified history:
In Predynastic Egypt, bodies were buried in the sand at the edge of the desert and would often naturally mummify because of the sand and climate. In early Dynastic times, tombs began to be used separating the body from the sand requiring artificial mummification to
preserve the body. Mummification in Egypt can be traced back to the 4th dynasty. The mummified remains of King Cheop’s mother have been discovered confirming a full mummification process. This discovery is the earliest confirmation of mummification which has been discovered, though evidence of experiential mummification did occurr earlier. From that period until the Christian era some 3000 years later, mummification was practiced with very little variation in Egypt.
Now, what I’m thinking is that if one of these bad boys came back from the desert on their own, I’m betting some of the living might just have hopped out of their own underwear!
Of course, I’m not sure Hollywood has truly helped our perception of the paper-mache-like abarition. Here’s a list of the Top 10 movies on mummies of all time. (Special Note I: OK, look you have to at least be impressed that such a list has been bandaged together!)
- The Mummy (Brendan Fraser)
- The Mummy (Boris Karloff)
- The Mummy (Christopher Lee)
- The Monster Squad
- Bubba Ho-Tep
- The Awakening
- The Cat Creature
- Blood From The Mummy’s Tomb
- Wrestling Women vs. The Aztec Mummy
- The Eternal
So, how exactly did the mummy get lost in the myriad of evildoers who provide us with frights & chills?
You can’t really count the “mummy” in the Brendan Fraser series. The lead evildoer was built more like a mythological god, his female counterpart was beautiful in human form, and comedy was structured into the plot.
Maybe it’s with misguided movies like Bubba Ho-Tep, or Wrestling Women vs. The Aztec Mummy. Somehow these titles don’t conjure images of fear in our minds.
Or, is it the physicality of the mummy?
The mummy’s moves, sans the Brendan Fraser film, are slow & plodding, which don’t create a sense of urgency to escape. Plus, it never looks like the mummy can see where it’s going, so how can you imagine it will find its victims? Add to the mix that you feel like if you pull a string, the whole mummy will fall apart just like in an old Scooby Doo cartoon.
Or, is it the lack of mystery in being wrapped in cloth & stuffed into a sarcophagus for eternity.
It just doesn’t come across as romantically mysterious as the modern version imagery of vampires & werewolves. And, not nearly as blood curdling as Jason’s hatchet, Michael’s knife, or the scrreeeeeech of Freddy’s blades against the boiler room pipes.
Is this really supposed to be scary?!
Have you ever noticed how mummies always find a way to step on someone’s head in the movies? My brother DaveS pointed this out many years ago. I don’t know what surprises me more – that he’s right, or that he taught me something! However, test this theory the next time you sit down with your favorite mummy movie. It never fails! (Special Note II: Oh, and yes, Brother DaveS, I know you’ve been thinking about that the entire time you’ve been reading this episode!)
Gotta run – it’s time for me to unwind…
Tunes of the Week:
Walk Like An Egyptian – The Bangles
Monster Mash – Bobby “Boris” Pickett & The Crypt-Kickers
Dream Warriors – Dokken
The Man Behind The Mask – Alice Cooper
Death By Unga Bunga – The Mummies
Momma, I’m Coming Home – Ozzy Osbourne
Raise A Ghoulish Glass!
May Your Friday Be Followed By A Well-Preserved Saturday!
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