Mummy, I’m Coming Home…

Great Day to You, Friday Fun Facters!

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Special Announcements:

RIP: Dan Wheldon, IndyCar Driver & two-time Indianapolis 500 Winner. Keep the hammer down & keep on driving…

Congratulations!: Casual Observer ChrisW, on his permanent full time position! Great Luck to You along the learning curve! Long, long overdue!

Ironic Sports Scores This Week:

  • Baseball: St. Louis Cardinals 10,Texas Rangers 9
  • Hockey: Winnipeg Jets 9,Philadelphia Flyers 8
  • Football: Cleveland Browns 6,Seattle Seahawks 3
  • Noted Observation: The sportscasters of the Browns/Seahawks game commented during the telecast that it was like watching a high school game. I beg to differ: watching a high school game would have been FAR more interesting.

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Vampires.

Werewolves.

Frankenstein.

Ghosts.

The Boogeyman.

Aliens.

Jason Voorhees.

The Monster In The Closet.

Michael Myers.

Demons.

Freddy Krueger.

The Devil, himself.

The Mummy.

Almost had you scared for a second, there, didn’t I?!

And then, I had to ruin it by mentioning the mummy. I know – it doesn’t exactly rattle the “scary” cage, does it?

There was a time when mummies were a little scarier. Here’s a brief snippet of mummified history:

In Predynastic Egypt, bodies were buried in the sand at the edge of the desert and would often naturally mummify because of the sand and climate. In early Dynastic times, tombs began to be used separating the body from the sand requiring artificial mummification to
preserve the body. Mummification in Egypt can be traced back to the 4th dynasty. The mummified remains of King Cheop’s mother have been discovered confirming a full mummification process. This discovery is the earliest confirmation of mummification which has been discovered, though evidence of experiential mummification did occurr earlier. From that period until the Christian era some 3000 years later, mummification was practiced with very little variation in Egypt.

          http://historylink101.net/egypt_1/religion_mummification_history.htm

Now, what I’m thinking is that if one of these bad boys came back from the desert on their own, I’m betting some of the living might just have hopped out of their own underwear!

Of course, I’m not sure Hollywood has truly helped our perception of the paper-mache-like abarition. Here’s a list of the Top 10 movies on mummies of all time. (Special Note I: OK, look you have to at least be impressed that such a list has been bandaged together!)

  1. The Mummy (Brendan Fraser)
  2. The Mummy (Boris Karloff)
  3. The Mummy (Christopher Lee)
  4. The Monster Squad
  5. Bubba Ho-Tep
  6. The Awakening
  7. The Cat Creature
  8. Blood From The Mummy’s Tomb
  9. Wrestling Women vs. The Aztec Mummy
  10. The Eternal

http://movies.amctv.com/movie-guide/the-top-ten-mummy-movies.php

So, how exactly did the mummy get lost in the myriad of evildoers who provide us with frights & chills?

You can’t really count the “mummy” in the Brendan Fraser series. The lead evildoer was built more like a mythological god, his female counterpart was beautiful in human form, and comedy was structured into the plot.

Maybe it’s with misguided movies like Bubba Ho-Tep, or Wrestling Women vs. The Aztec Mummy. Somehow these titles don’t conjure images of fear in our minds.

Or, is it the physicality of the mummy?

The mummy’s moves, sans the Brendan Fraser film, are slow & plodding, which don’t create a sense of urgency to escape. Plus, it never looks like the mummy can see where it’s going, so how can you imagine it will find its victims? Add to the mix that you feel like if you pull a string, the whole mummy will fall apart just like in an old Scooby Doo cartoon.

Or, is it the lack of mystery in being wrapped in cloth & stuffed into a sarcophagus for eternity.

It just doesn’t come across as romantically mysterious as the modern version imagery of vampires & werewolves. And, not nearly as blood curdling as Jason’s hatchet, Michael’s knife, or the scrreeeeeech of Freddy’s blades against the boiler room pipes.

Is this really supposed to be scary?!

Have you ever noticed how mummies always find a way to step on someone’s head in the movies? My brother DaveS pointed this out many years ago. I don’t know what surprises me more – that he’s right, or that he taught me something! However, test this theory the next time you sit down with your favorite mummy movie. It never fails! (Special Note II: Oh, and yes, Brother DaveS, I know you’ve been thinking about that the entire time you’ve been reading this episode!)

Gotta run – it’s time for me to unwind…

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Tunes of the Week:

Walk Like An Egyptian – The Bangles

Monster Mash – Bobby “Boris” Pickett & The Crypt-Kickers

         Dream Warriors – Dokken

The Man Behind The Mask – Alice Cooper

Death By Unga Bunga – The Mummies

Momma, I’m Coming Home – Ozzy Osbourne

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Raise A Ghoulish Glass!

May Your Friday Be Followed By A Well-Preserved Saturday!

D

Realizar Sus Ambiciones

    

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Published in: on 13Octpm1111 at 10:21 pm  Leave a Comment  

How To Diet… Slowly

Last week’s episode was pre-empted by travel and “sporting” events. We apologize for any inconvenience bestowed upon our readership.

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Special Announcements:

RIP: Al Davis. The NFL would not be without you. You leave behind a legacy that affects millions every Sunday…

RIP II: Kent Hull, 50, Center for the Buffalo Bills for 4 Super Bowls. Nobody circles the wagons…

Congratulations!: City of Cleveland – wettest year on record. Special honorary mention on The Weather Channel this week…

“Whoa, I’m turning it loose!”: There is only one Ren McCormack…

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A guy walks into a grocery store.

Sounds like the start of a joke, right?!

So, what’s the punch line?

Molasses.

No, really, I’m not kidding!

It starts with me doing my best to be a good student about my weight program. Allow me to connect the long & strange trail of dots (Special Note I: No comments from the readership peanut gallery!) for you on this one.

As I was saying, I am trying to be a good student about my weight program & occasionally read up on helpful hints to shave an extra half calorie or so where it seems feasible. (Special Note II: Most of the dieting helpful hints, as discussed in a previous episode amount to “keep from being hungry by licking the yogurt spoon when making your protein shake.” Uh, gee, thanks…) I was sitting at my glorified cubicle at work one day when I received an email from one of our organization’s partners in the crime on weight & justice in good health (or, maybe it’s the other “weigh” around!) which discussed the potential benefits of chugging on some molasses w/your oatmeal.

http://www.realage.com/health-tips/molasses-for-better-weight-management?eid=1010642807&memberid=13873431

Being the somewhat healthier guy I am these days, I occasionally reach for a packet of favorably health instant oatmeal at work on mornings when I feel particularly hungry. I fire it up in the microwave and always find the challenge in cooking it long enough to be hot, versus overcooking it, in which it overflows like a volcano all over the microwave turntable. (Special Note III: Have you ever noticed how that only seems to happen when the kitchen is packed with people to witness your microwave-timing ineptitude?!) So, I’m thinking “hey, I could dripple a bit of molasses into the mix and walk on the edge.

Now, if you will, please flash-forward to the flashback where I’m in the local bake & crate grocery mart on a Sunday morning making my usual food run for the week. (Did you follow all that?!). Since I’m not intimately familiar with the molasses aisle, I figure I’ll take a couple of educated guesses & find me a small bottle to begin my morning experiment.

Alright, so here we go.

Check the Syrup & Slow Running Sugar Liquid (that’s really what the sign says! OK, no it doesn’t. But it should!) aisle.

No luck.

Check the Baking Goods aisle. OK, as a dude, I think I should get special props for this one!

No joy.

On to the Spices & Cooking Oils aisle.

I got nothin’.

Special Note IV: Now, for all those that don’t know CarolineH, she is frantically waving her hands in the air as she reads this because she knows the answer to mystery question of where molasses is located in the grocery store, and can’t get her hands to move quick enough to the keyboard. Just so all you’re aware.

And then on to the Salad Dressings & Vinegar aisle.

No molasses, but I found an awesome new salad dressing that I’ll try once I have a coupon!

Now, as a sssssstrrrrrrehhhtccchhhhh, I check the pasta sauce aisle. Yeah, I know this is out there, but I do recall sometime in the very distant past hearing someone say they added molasses to their pasta sauce. And, no, I don’t think it was CarolineH.

Special Note V: By this time, MonicaR has found a recipe for molasses online, bought the ingredients, made the recipe, and is sending me a small sample to get me through. You should taste her homemade marshmallows!

I have now exhausted all of my avenues of thought on the manner. It is now time for Plan B.

As I’ve been strolling the aisles, not only have I been thinking of the infamous fictional character in Ryan Gaerity (C’mon, Mr. President!), “who can make a bomb out of Bisquick,” (Special Note VI: It’s already bugging WaltK that he can’t connect the movie reference!) I’ve also been employing my Terminator screen to take stock of the employees in the area to assess their ability to assist in my efforts to successfully find molasses.

Three dudes w/a liftjack working with milk cartons, and a manager three aisles over in the safety pins & band aids aisle.

The Terminator screen has already eliminated these as potential candidates.

As I turn the corner on a split aisle, my saving angel appears out of nowhere! Holding what appears to be a creative mix of other baking-related goods! On this Sunday morning, the clouds have dissipated, and rays from the sun are shining down!

I fumble briefly over my words, as they all seem to be rushing out of my mouth at the same time:

Excuse me, where would I find molasses?

The response:

What is molasses?

The Terminator screen in my mind is shorting out.

Really?! What is molasses?

I explain to the clerk that it is an ingredient used mostly for baked goods, but can apparently be used as a dripple topping on oatmeal for those of us watching our weight (Alright, no, I really didn’t say that last part to a teen-aged clerk who couldn’t care less). I checked the baked goods aisle, but couldn’t seem to locate it.

The response:

Well, if it’s not in the baked goods aisle, I don’t know where it would be.

Uh, thanks. Blink, blink, blinkety-blink. Terminator screen is in full shutdown…

Did I miss a chapter?! Or maybe a boat?!

The clerk was young, but I’m kind of the thinking that molasses is not grocery-store discriminatory, nore age-discriminatory. Surely, (Special Note VI: I know all movie buffs reading this just responded, “And don’t call me Shirley!”) somewhere in this good-sized local bake & crate grocery store there is a bottle of molasses. Surely…

I’m lost to think of this entire experience on a couple of different levels:

  • This poor clerk had no idea what molasses is
  • The clerk didn’t really know what products may or may not be in the store, AND
  • In typical modern-day customer service fashion, made NO EXTENSION OF EFFORT beyond responding to me to find out for me, OR their own knowledge, whether the store actually carried such a product!

You know, I much dislike admitting it, but back in my days in the vast & depressing retail service industry, I did manage to learn some very valuable lessons that I fortunately (or, unfortunately based on your perspective!) carry through for me to this day. If I know the answer, I try to help out; if I don’t know the answer, I try to find out. Sometimes, in not knowing the answer, I learn more from the experience. Now, this doesn’t mean I was perfect as a customer service manager – I’m sure there’s an unhappy customer or two that walked away from me thinking I was some sort of long-haired young punk (which, by the way hasn’t changed much – now I’m just a short-haired young punk!). But I did at least try to help in every situation…

The quest continues… slowly…

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Tunes of the Week:

      Pour Some Sugar On Me – Def Leppard

      Sticky Sweet – Motley Crue

      Sugar Walls – Sheena Easton

      Brown Sugar – The Rolling Stones

      Sugar – Tori Amos

      Sugar (That Sugar Baby O’ Mine ) – Billie Holiday

      Sugar – Lenny Kravitz

      Sugar – System Of A Down

      Sugar, Sugar – The Archies (Jeff Barry & Andy Kim)

      Sugartime – Johnny Cash

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Raise a Sugar-Rimmed Glass!

May Your Friday Be Followed By A Sweet Saturday!

D

Realizar Sus Ambiciones

    

Published in: on 13Octpm1111 at 5:08 pm  Comments (1)  

Shine A -Blue- Light

Great Day to You, Friday Fun Facters!

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Special Announcements:

RIP: Steve Jobs. Apple co-founder & technical visionary, being heralded as this generation’s Thomas Edison & Henry Ford. We dedicate the next song we listen to on our respective iPods to you…

                “I want to put a ding in the universe.”

— Steve Jobs

Member Birthday!: Happy Birthday, EddieK! You’re finally beginning to look your age, young man! Continue, always, to Take Hold Of The Flame

P.S. Sorry, Ed, Ma makes me call you Eddie…

Member Birthday II!: Happy Birthday, MaryAnneM!

She said what am I thinking I must be only dreaming
Or maybe it’s the hundred times he’s crossed my mind
Just tonight

 Casual Observer Birthday!: SondaK. Here is to always having the ability to “change your stars.”

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We make a special stop today on Friday Fun Fact’s journey on the path to existential happiness. Understand, I am not an expert or have vast experience in the topic we will address today (Special Note I: Right now CarolineH, MarthaS, DavidS, & JenL are marking this admission down on their calendars!), but feel the need to create a bigger, brighter, and “bluer” awareness within our readership in support of those who live with the trials, tribulations, and celebrations of a growing disorder. Today, we address a topic Friday Fun Fact should have written about a long time ago in honor of two of our members, and their family. Most of today’s episode is provided by Hal in celebration of their participation in this weekend’s Autism Walk.

Walk Now for Autism Speaks

http://www.walknowforautismspeaks.org/site/c.igIRL6PIJrH/b.4356939/k.BF85/Home.htm

Autism is a brain disorder whose membership is growing at an increasing & alarming rate. It strikes at the heart of the Rockwellian visions we have in our heads when we think or dream about having children and families. Your expectations, actions, and tolerances need to change immediately to focus on addressing the additional & extra needs of children with autism. You also, from what I have seen & discussed, need to develop another three to eighteen levels of patience for outbursts, changes in your plans, and communication efforts with autistic children. Despite growing efforts, there is no cure at this time.

We’ll start with the basics

What is autism?

Autism is a general term used to describe a group of complex developmental brain disorders known as Pervasive Developmental Disorders (PDD).

How common is autism?

Today, it is estimated that one in every 110 children is diagnosed with autism, making it more common than childhood cancer, juvenile diabetes and pediatric AIDS combined. Studies suggest boys are more likely than girls to develop autism and receive the diagnosis three to four times more frequently. Current estimates are that in the United States alone, one out of 70 boys is diagnosed with autism. (Chances are, you know someone who is affected by autism).

What causes autism?

The simple answer is we don’t know. The vast majority of cases of autism are idiopathic, which means the cause is unknown. (Since there is no definitive cause, there is no cure).

http://www.autismspeaks.org/what-autism

Light It Up Blue

You may have noticed buildings, bridges, etc., illuminated in blue on April 2nd of this year. This is an effort called Light It Up Blue, by the organization Autism Speaks. Their goal is to get famous buildings, landmarks, etc, bathed in a blue light to further raise awareness. If you are interested, you can see photos of recent lightings at:

http://www.lightitupblue.org/site/c.cuLQK8OVLnK6E/b.7080639/k.BF2E/Home.htm

If you would like to participate in this next year, it’s very simple. All you need to do is replace a light bulb outside your house with a blue one. You can leave it there for the day, or the entire month of April, which is Autism Awareness Month.

Hal also provided a bit of a different perspective from his personal experiences:

Not sure if there is a way to tie the airline info into this or not. I caught the part about keeping kids under control – in a case like this, it’s much easier said than done. I myself have found I have much more tolerance for screaming kids on a flight b/c I’ve been there & know that sometimes there is a darn good reason. If the child is like Nicky and can’t communicate the problem, they are frustrated and so are the parents. Stares and comments only add to it for everyone – not to say that every screaming kid has an issue.

Hal & his wife Amy are both FFF members. Hal & Amy’s son Nicky “suffers” from Autism (Special Note II: From personal experience, in seeing Nicky run around & command a household, me thinks he “suffers” from nothing!). I cannot give you a detailed report on the day-to-day experiences of living with autism. But I know that Hal & Amy believe that The Man Upstairs gives you nothing more than what you can handle in life. Their plans change according to events that affect Nicky. I do know that Nicky loves horse back riding & putting puzzles together, and continues to grow & learn in school. Hal & Amy always give of their time for the cause. And most importantly, they love Nicky for all that he is and can be…

This weekend is the National Autism Walk – October 9, 2011. I’m not asking you to donate, but just to be more aware.

http://www.walknowforautismspeaks.org/site/c.igIRL6PIJrH/b.4356939/k.BF85/Home.htm

And if you choose to donate, Nicky’s team name is “Walk It Off.”

https://www.kintera.org/faf/search/searchTeam.asp?ievent=467576&lis=1&kntae467576=5863E42A762F4CBEA8656449BCC5A3D1

http://www.walknowforautismspeaks.org/faf/home/default.asp?ievent=467576

Thank you, Hal, for your contribution…

Nicky – thank you for all you are to all of us…

Amy – thank you for babysitting all three kids in Jersey…

Elizabeth – Friday Fun Fact regrets to informyou The Committee refused editorial suggestion to include any Jonas Brothers “lyrics” here within. But we love you anyway…

Ride, Nicky, Ride…

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Tunes of the Week:

House of Blue Light – Deep Purple

Solitary Shell – Dream Theater

Shine On – Van Halen

         Blue Moon – Toby Keith

True Blue – Madonna

Blue – LeAnn Rhymes

Blue Velvet – Bobby Vinton

Blue Bayou – Linda Rondstat

Blue Suede Shoes – Elvis Presley

         Ride, Cowboy, Ride – Bon Jovi

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Raise A Giving & Forgiving Glass!

May Your Friday Be Followed By A Saturday, & An Awareness Sunday!

D

Realizar Sus Ambiciones

Published in: on 13Octpm1111 at 6:05 pm  Leave a Comment  

Breaking The Monotony

Great Day to You, Friday Fun Facters!

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Special Announcements:

God Bless Texas!: This time, with Native American artifacts in the drought-stricken Lake Whitney.

Dead, Jail, Or Rock N’ Roll: Texas law enforcement has made 30 arrests at Lake Whitney for disturbing burial sites and other “crimes against history.”

http://www.thepostgame.com/blog/dish/201109/texas-drough-exposes-history-dinosaur-age

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Like many of us, I have spent quite a bit of time fighting the battle of the bulge.(Special Note I: RobC, not that Battle of the Bulge!). Sometimes I win, sometimes, not so much. This year, I’ve made some serious strides that I am proud of. It has taken effort, sacrifice, determination, and a constant – I mean constant – battle with temptation.

It has also taken time to read articles and gain knowledge. Anything to I can do to learn some new hints as to how to best beat the cravings & pangs of wanting to eat food delicioso!

However, sometimes I read what amounts to ridiculous cognitions beyond the realm of practical comprehension or application. One example would be that when making a protein shake, I should “lick the yogurt off the spoon.” Really?! I do this anyway. Apparently, this one act would stop me from staring at every burger in fast food commercials like I’ve been lost in a rainforest for six months. Recently I came across one such article that made me question the theory contained within:

Control Your Appetite with Repetition

http://www.realage.com/health-tips/meal-monotony-helps-control-hunger?eid=1010642791&memberid=13873431

It’s called meal monotony. Sounds exciting, doesn’t it?! The concept is to repeat your meals – meaning to eat the same foods for breakfast or lunch. By eating the same foods, your stimulus will change and you will eat less food overall.

Uh, no.

And here’s my proof:

Most days I pack a peanut butter & jelly sandwich for lunch, along with a banana and yogurt. The biggest variety contained within is which brand of whole wheat bread I buy that week, and what flavor of yogurt I put in my lunch bag.

And guess what?! At the end of eating my lunch, the results are the same: all three items have been eaten in their entirety, sans packaging. I’ve been eating the same lunch for most of my time at my current organization, and there has NEVER been an instance when there was ANY sandwich, banana, or yogurt left over when I’m done.

That blows that theory out of the water.

The theory is also referred to as “school cafeteria syndrome.” I’m sensing a food fight coming on here.

Let’s also address the philosophical concept of meal monotony. You know what – I don’t think I want to be that healthy. If it takes meal monotony to get Brad Pitt or Ryan Reynolds abs, than I’m fine with adding some excitement to my eating regiment.

    

AND, if there’s a difference between living until I’m really old (like 40), or really, really old (like 60), or unbelievably old (like 110) because I’ve adopted the concept of meal monotony, then, I’m adding some excitement to my meals and taking my chances. I’m thinking an extra burrito or three isn’t going to make a big difference in the end anyway.

AND, here’s a question: what if you’re a couch potato & you eat the same foods every day?

Will you eventually eat less of those foods out of sheer boredom, and lose weight? My guess is not. As a matter of fact, my guess is that even if you add a “healthy option” for breakfast or lunch, that you won’t see the appropriate affects.

You know, I’m not a registered dietician, but I play one in my own life. Here’s what I’ve found works for me:

  • Decrease soda
  • Decrease fast food
  • Increase whole grains
  • Drink more water (yuck!)
  • Gradually decrease your portions, even around the holidays
  • Workout on a regular basis
  • And, run, don’t walk, on occasion (Special Note II: Just for you, Meghan! I know you were waiting for it!)

Beyond that, it’s a crapshoot.

We all have different body types, different body chemistry, and different metabolisms. And that means we all have different methods of weight loss & programming that prove to be effective for us. We can all start with the basics as a foundation and add different elements to enhance our chances of being more physically fit. I’m pretty darn sure that meal monotony isn’t one of those methods that will prove to be the lynchpin that gets us to the next level.

Gotta jet – time to order a pizza…

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Tunes of the Week:

Eat It – Weird Al Yankovic

Lunch Lady Land – Adam Sandler

Candy – Iggy Pop with Kate Pierson

Blueberry Hill – Fats Domino

Cherry Pie – Warrant

TV Dinners – ZZ Top

Lost In The Supermarket – The Clash

Ice Cream Man – Van Halen

        Chicken & Biscuits – Colt Ford

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Raise A Hearty Glass!

May Your Friday Be Followed By A Scrumptious Saturday!

D

Realizar Sus Ambiciones

         

Published in: on 13Octpm1111 at 11:12 pm  Comments (1)