The Art Of Being A School Crossing Guard

Great Day to You, Friday Fun Facters!


Special Announcements:

RIP: Andy Rooney. A writer’s writer & inspiration with a very unique perspective on life’s oddities. 60 Minutes just isn’t the same without you…

The Last Victory Lap!: Bon voyage to St. Louis Baseball Cardinals Manager Tony LaRussa, who is retiring after 33 seasons as a big-league manager, leaving on a high note after the Cardinals win the World Series. We wish you well in your self-professed new career as an elephant walker.

Long Live Shadow!: Test results showed that Friday Fun Fact members HalF & AmyF can rejoice, as their dog Shadow does not have a tumor. Keep On Almost-Running, Shadow!

Tock-Tick, Tock-Tick: An ode to EddieK’s favorite day of the year. Don’t forget to turn your clocks back this weekend!

   If I Could Turn Back Time – Cher

Halloween Thank You!: To casual observers ChrisW, BeckyW, & RobS for another great Halloween evening celebration of passing out candy & drinking blood wine. And let’s not forget those frozen plastic pumpkins!


Last week, I was faced with a challenging morning. I was running a little late for work. I know, to some, this comes as no surprise. (Special Note I: My close friends refer to it as DanTime®, which generally runs about 20 minutes off course from event or scheduled meeting time. Oh, and they LOVE to tell anyone new to our social group all about it. I guess there are worse traits to have.) I also decided to take a different route to stop at the local post office to mail a couple of bills (Special Note II: Yes, every now and then a bill has to travel by the U.S Pony Express instead of along the e-waves.).

The combination of these factors lead me to a vantage point to view a school crossing guard at a major intersection. The crossing guard was on the opposite crosswalk from my car, and as the light changed, I was able to observe her crossing guard prowess. She ventured out into the street roughly one-and-a-half car lengths, holding her trusty umbrella in her left hand and the required miniature stop sign in her right. A light rain had been falling all morning. What struck me as odd as she faced me is that her umbrella was in her lead hand, drawing all of the attention, and her stop sign was only timidly held up an inch or three higher than her waist, and was closer to the curb than the middle of the street. In essence, all she was really doing with the stop sign is holding it in front of a headlight of a car in the curb lane. Odd.

This week, although managed to escape DanTime® on my way to work, I was forced by my after work activities to return home, as I forgot one of my bags. I took a different route – this time, through a different school zone, and in view of a different school crossing guard. The crossing guard deftly put her skill set to work as the light in front of me flashed from green to yellow to red – delaying my redux adventure. This crossing guard made the full trip out to the halfway point in the street (Special Note III: In defense of the first school crossing guard, this street was much smaller – one lane each way, and a turning lane.). Again, most noticeable was the crossing guards lack of emphasis in raising the required miniature stop sign above the hoodline of ANY of the cars stopped for the student crossing.

I’m baffled here.

Of all of the things a school crossing guard is supposed to do, I’m pretty darn sure that one of the major points in the job description is to raise the mini-me stop sign high enough that those driving cars along the street can actually see it! Of course, these school crossing guards are a mere microcosm sampling of school crossing guards everywhere. Surely, most crossing guards manage to hoist their stop sign high enough to draw the attention of oncoming cars.

However, these two separate incidents sparked some questions from the Friday Fun Fact Investigative Team:

  • How is the performance of school crossing guards graded? Do they get annual reviews?
  • Is there a remedial training course for crossing guards who aren’t meeting the minimum performance expectations?
  • If there is such a thing as school crossing guard training school, who are the instructors?
  • If the school crossing guards are a volunteer workforce, are they unionized? Can they be fired for not meeting their goals?

I recall from my youth, that even kids on the safety patrol had rules to follow & had to put their hands up to keep other kids safe when crossing the street. To be fair, though, I’m not sure if they were allowed to have umbrellas…


Tunes of the Week:

Stop! In The Name Of Love – Diana Ross & The Supremes

Streets: A Rock Opera – Savatage

Walk The Line – Johnny Cash

Mainstreet – Bob Seger

Dancing In The Street – David Bowie/Mick Jagger

Dancing In The Street – Van Halen

Shady Lane – Pavement

Electric Avenue – Eddy Grant

Where The Streets Have No Name – U2


Raise A Well-Trained Glass!

May Your Friday Be Followed By A Safe Saturday!


Realizar Sus Ambiciones

Published in: on 13Novpm1111 at 5:57 pm  Leave a Comment  

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