Great Day to You, Friday Fun Facters!
RIP I: Davy Jones. Keep on being a Daydream Believer…
RIP II: Ralph McQuarrie, artist. Without you, there is no Star Wars. May The Force Be With You, Jedi Knight…
Goodbye: Peyton Hillis. The Browns didn’t even make an offer to keep you – to their detriment.
Quarterback Talk In Cleveland: Yep, that’s all it is – talk.
Fond Farewell: Payton Manning. The Colts may be able to “replace” you with another franchise quarterback, but they won’t be able to keep you from seeking your just rewards. A Colt forever, but a player for now…
Happy Birthday: JenniferD!
Happy Birthday II: RobS. May this year be The Year Of The Playwright…
Just when you thought the football season was over and we can focus on Spring Training and Opening Day, comes one last story to close out the year of the pigskin. Crazy, huh?! With Peyton Manning sightings & progress visually reminiscent of the O.J. highway chase, you would think the fate of the human race depends on not only where Peyton signs, but also what jet, limo, or SUV is carrying him to that destination. With the Colts poised to take the next franchise quarterback (if anyone can live up to those expectations), the Redskins trading up to take the Heisman Trophy winner RGIII, The so-called end of bounty hunting in the NFL,and the Browns ready to do, well, what the Browns always do… The football offseason is filled with many noteworthy, almost journalistic-worthy, stories.
But this football story takes us back in time, to a place not seemingly so long ago. And yet, far enough away that snow was still in the foreseeable forecast for a mild majority of the Friday Fun Fact readership. The time is late Sunday morning; the date is Super Bowl Sunday; the location:
The Deli Counter
Yep, there I was working on my weekly grocery errands, gauging my time appropriately for arrival at our Super Bowl party (graciously hosted by RobS!). I’m pretty darn efficient when it comes to this stuff, list & coupons in hand. But it doesn’t mean that I don’t run into the occasional environmental common sense snafu. In the business world, I believe this would be referred to as external factors or unknown risks. My first destination rolls out pretty well – things I need, and always a couple of bonus items. On to grocery destination two.
I enter through the automatic sliding doors that always invite me in as if I’m a royal guest of honor in the store. Although I greatly appreciate the gesture, the moment is generally short-lived, since the red carpet treatment vanishes shortly after the doors whir shut behind me. I hunt my way through the vegetable produce area, set up perfectly to slow down anyone looking to swiftly navigate the grocery story experience. There just simply aren’t any straight lines in the produce section – you are sent scurrying through zigs & zags like an indoor maize of produce! But, I come out the other side into the wines, cheeses, and finally –
The Deli Counter
I saunter up to the deli counter, surveying the other patrons for their potential efficiencies & inefficiencies in ordering, hoping to gauge whether I’ll be able to make my way through this process faster than at the counter of a fast food restaurant, or whether I should have brought a portable dvd player to watch a movie while I’m waiting. At this point, we don’t know. But I’m taking bets that we’re a solid sitcom away from celebrating the victory of the hunt.
I reach up and take a number. You know – those dispensers that give you one number at a time, so the deli personnel can mildly organize the chaos by yelling out the next number up from the current digital display counter on the wall.
And immediately… I can see that something is amiss. There are, in fact, a few too many patrons for the bandwidth of numbers between what is listed on the digital display counter and the number screaming at me from the aerodynamic ticket in my hand.
Let’s see how this shakes out.
After the deli finishes with one customer, they call the next number, which no one seems to have. So, one customer steps in without a number, and orders. What?! Wait, it gets better. The lone deli employee finishes with the customer, and calls the next number – MY number. As I go to address the deli employee, another customer starts giving her order.
I feel an Uncle Buck moment coming on – “Yeah, but; yeah but; wait…ooaaahh.”
When, exactly, did we as a society lose track of how to do this?! I mean, the lexicography is even part of our funny and/or sarcastic vernacular. “Take a number” is used on the silver screen as it is in real life – a demonstrative response to those who may want to chew your hide or are asking for your money, among other things. This universally-known process should be easy to grasp, especially at the grocery store deli counter. And, yet, there I was, in the middle of my own personal Twilight Zone episode – wondering if Rod Serling was explaining my predicament to the audience.
So I wait patiently for this additional customer to finish her order. As the order is completed, I insert myself in to the madness. As the deli employee calls the next number, I say “actually I had the last number.” And then, I have to explain myself! Hello?! Really?! This has never happened before at the deli?! There are three people behind me flush with mass confusion – and looking at me like I cut in line! Fortunately the customer who took the number right after me came to my defense before the angry mob called for my hanging. And order is restored…
Can you run those cheeses by me again?!
On to the Super Bowl Party…
Tunes of the Week:
Stand In Line – Impelliteri
Wait – White Lion
I’ll Wait For You – Bonham
The Waiting Is The Hardest Part – Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
The Longest Time – Billy Joel
Eat It – “Weird” Al Yankovic
Raise A Glass!
May Your Sunday Be Followed By A Saturday!